SSH over PCI

Send/receive - it is not for mails

You do not need internet for emails

Client: I don't get any mails
Support: Are you connected to the internet? Did you dial to your ISP ?
Client: No,my tech. guy told me it is only needed for the internet but not for the outlook.

Questions

Support level 1 (web hosting) asking the second level: Do we support flash ?

IPMonitor

Definition: IPMonitor - a big piece of sh*t. It crashes when you add new sites. Many checks appear as recently created after you restart this $#%. It takes ages to load a page. Don't worry, it is normal for this application.

Processes running on client's machines

TMPT

This process is one of the main and the most important ones. It runs almost all the time, consuming about 99% of the resources. It uses the sound card a lot without any filtering. The client usually has to turn the computer off and step 2-3 meters away in order to stop the process.

Clients

Always check that the client checked whatever you told him/her to check. In other words, never trust the client.

Put them on hold (take a nap) to chill them out.

Phrases

• Migration of the application
• Internet destroyer
• Outlook depress
• Multi-drek (multi-dreked application, example MS Windows, MS Office, etc.)
• "regress" bar
• TMPT server, TMPT proxy
• Tempitibility
• MySQL 5 over Oracle
• Remove the client.
• One disk RAID.
• Service Drek 2 -- Alex
• Verbal random agression ventilation -- Shoko
• Play with firewall (as in "Who played with the firewall last?")
• Fail over, and over, and over again -- Ilya
• Re-pre-sale -- Shoko
• The content of the email was removed by transparent proxy -- Ilya
• You f**k it - you fix it -- Shoko
• Uptime-less upgrade -- Andrey
• The interface of the API -- Noam
• CLI GUI -- Ilya
• Killall Bill -- Andrey & Ilya
• On production server with mirror RAID - pull out one of the disks and then check if the disks are synchronized -- Ilya
• The knights of the iptables -- Linux team.
• Properly Misconfigured Server (PMS) -- Ilya
• Virtual VM machine -- Shoko and Ilya.
• Redundancy check for mirror RAID : pull one disk out, then another, then check that the RAID still works.
• killall -9 TMPT
• Windoze overdose -- Ilya
• Passive SMTP -- Andrey
• SSH folder -- support
• Kiss my SSH -- Ilya
• It's consistent with other inconsistencies -- Ilya
• Obviously someone is trying to do something productive. Let's cut it. -- Andrey
• Abusive scripting disorder -- Shoko
• Nagios of Debian Sarge over Fedora Core 5. -- Ilya
• Terminal terminator -- Andrey
• Hit anyone to continue -- Andrey. (Stop hitting everyone, you are stuck anyway -- Ilya).
• Search, replace, and destroy -- Ilya
• CRM -rf -- Andrey
• Separation of the aggregation by consolidation -- Amit, Guy T, Ilya
• Sysadmin disorder -- Shoko
• Pool of singletons -- Ilya
• The monitoring system brings the server down -- Unknown
• Absence of exception does not mean the program works OK -- Ilya
• Multiple PDA personality disorder -- Ilya
• Master of the cluster -- Alex

Trigger (as in guns) keywords

• Standard Linux installation
• PC server
• Gentoo
• "We need standard web server"
• Mysql + ASP on Windows
• FrontPage extensions on Linux

Tools